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ALWAYS BLAME THE VICTIM


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#1 malform11

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 07:17 AM

The key to abuse,rape,murder is to make it look like the victim deserved what they got.

The kid was bad,deserved to be starved and tortured. She was asking for rape because she dressed sexy. The guy you killed had it coming.

I am no stranger to physical,sexual, emotional, and economic abuse. i had two third degree burns before the age of two.

All along the way i was told it was my fault. My mother would scream at me for 2 hours telling me i am worthless, i have ruined everything. If i dared open my mouth and say "what did i do wrong" or if i pointed out that something she was accusing me of was not in any way true,i was told "there you go, making more trouble".

I was not allowed to have anything, all was taken from me. A neighbor felt sorry for me and gave me a stuffed toy with a music box built in. Within a week that was taken from me and trashed likely in a dumpster far from home where i couldn't retrieve it..

I started to learn to read at 3 by looking at comic books. My brother was in 1st grade having trouble. To spare his feelings all books were removed from the house. At the baby-sitters i was told that by orders of my mother i was not allowed to see any books. Mom told me that she would not let me go to school. I missed kindergarten. It was my fault for being too smart.

Mom found out that to keep me from school would be seen as abuse. Two weeks before first grade she told me that she decided to let me go to school.

Within two months, the teachers said that i was far beyond the other students, and should advance to second grade. My mother said that it would hurt my brother's feelings, and refused to sign the papers.

I always had to wear clothes that were two sizes too small. I could not get on the bus because my pants were so tight i could lift my leg.The other parents shamed my mother into buying me a new pair of pants. As we were leaving the house my brother said he wanted my fruit loop. My mother blocked the door. i begged them to leave me alone, but my much larger brother grabbed my belt loop and swung me around in circles until the loop tore and i slammed hard into a wall and collapsed to the floor. My new pants now destroyed, my mother said "OK, now we can go". My joy of finally having something decent to wear made me deserve whatever hate was to be dished out.

I didn't get to eat supper, she cooked for her and my brother only after i was in bed asleep. I remember waking up one time, smelling the food. I went to the kitchen and saw them eating. She gave me a plate. i remember talking for months about how we should do that again, how good it felt for me to actually go to bed with food in my stomache.

I deserved to be starved for the trouble i was, severe asthma made me go to the hospital many times as a child; I was a big problem.

In second grade i stepped in a puddle and a teacher attacked me, hitting me with a board. As she beat me, i saw a crowd circle around. I passed out when she broke my tail-bone. When i woke everyone had merely walked away except one kid who eventually helped me get back on my feet. The concensus was i deserved to be beaten.

I couldn't tell my mother about the beating. She would have further abused me, using the excuse that i deserve what i got.  

Fast forward 50 years. I design a pinball designed to work with a mame program which is recommended to be installed on the c drive. For anyone who installed it on the c drive it is bug-free. I made the mistake of saying that it was bug free in the description, as those who installed the mame in different folders had problems. This is only because of several advanced features, like reading and writing high scores. Other tables don't do that, so it doesn't matter where you install the mame.

My fault again, i ruined everything. From VPforum i get an onslaught of abuse, mocking, bullying, posting my picture with insults. No doubt from abusers who believe i deserve to be shit on and maybe beaten if you can locate me.

So what else is new?
 



#2 Rawnei

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 10:21 AM

Hi Mate,

 

While my upbringing wasn't as gloom as yours I didn't have the best childhood but one thing you have to realize is that everyone is not your enemy, I don't think anyone here intentionally wants to hurt you.

 

And no offense meant whatsoever or any ill-intentions I think that you should seek therapy for your own sake to help you deal with your internal trauma and perhaps find some peace in your life.



#3 adamstillman

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 12:45 PM

sorry you had a rough child hood,  me too, but not nearly as bad as yours.  and i think its true that a child hood sets the tone for the rest of your life...that being said, a lot of people are mean.. this is true.  true friends are hard to come by, maybe 1 or 2 in a lifetime..you are not alone with your thoughts and feelings.  tough to say if you can even fully forgive what happend in your past.  but its your life now, and you are a adult, and even if you walked in the wrong direction for a thousand miles.. you can always take a step in the right direction at anytime and go from there.  

 

you have to know when to play the victim card, and when to be honest and say your actions where wrong,  either by past trauma or mental disorders were the cause does not matter..  

 

as long as you did the best you can, and you truly believe you did good work... to me.. thats all that matters and you should sleep good that night..



#4 malform11

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 05:59 PM

It was not just childhood. Everywhere i go, even on the internet i get nothing but contempt and knee-jerk contradiction.

I suggested lasers here. Without facts or research i was nullified, told that lasers were expensive, dangerous, and required large ammounts of power.

The laser on my key-chain costs less than a dollar, uses watch batteries, and would not be sold if it were dangerous.

 

I could give you horror stories throughout the years, filling a large book. i will only give one more recent example of how abusive and dishonest the people i deal with are...

 

2008 was a banner yearfor blaming the victim. My mother asked me to take in my nephew, help him find a job.
He moved in,and began drinking up the money she gave him. He would get so drunk he couldnt find the toilet, and defacated on my carpets. Vomit everywhere. He refused to look for a job.

I found him a job. When it was time to go, he refused. He said he don't have to work and he would just do what he wants as an unpaying guest in my house.

I told him that if he didn't work, i would kick him out of the house. Minutes later he came from behind me, blindsided me, smashed my face with a pipe wrench. As i lost consciousness i saw him smash my sliding glass door to the patio. While i was out, he dragged my body through the broken glass cutting me up and down my body. I soon went blind in the eye where he hit me.

I just started to come to when the police came in. They went to him, he said he hit me with a rock. He was covered in blood, i was covered in blood in a pool of blood 3 feet wide. Towels were filled with blood,even the walls were bloody.

They arrested him on existing warrants, no charges filed for his assault. They asked me no questions as to what happened.

My mother and brother said it was MY FAULT.

I was so injured that my employer would not let me work. I qualified for aid to victims of family abuse, and my job also had a help program i had paid into for 20 years.But they required a police report.
The police refused to give me a report.They did no investigation and asked no questions.

I had to hock some of my property to pay bills and not lose my home.
After seven months of begging the police for a report, they invited me into some small office at the courthouse. They sat me down between two large cops, so close to me our legs were touching.  They told me that i slipped and bumped my head. They said it was probably a drug deal gone wrong, and it was MY FAULT.



#5 hauntfreaks

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 06:20 PM

dude are you Fing kidding me??  are you really back with another crazy story??.... does it ever end with you???  do you escape you room at the mental hospital and run to a computer to type this crap...

this is NOT the place for your craziness.... go back to your room and take your damn pills like they told you to....


Edited by hauntfreaks, 16 July 2018 - 06:38 PM.

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#6 ShAmPi

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 07:13 PM

How about you take a dip in some acid?

At least we're released of your whining.

 

My day was waaaay fcking worse!

I dropped my ice cream

 

ALL YOUR FAULT!



#7 3rdaxis

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 07:39 PM

Sorry to hear that brother sounds rough. I suggest taking up a hobby like, making VPX tables;)

So.... has anyone here every baked/un-wrapped textures in 3dsMax before for applying to primitives? Great tutorials out there but for Blender and it doesn't translate into 3dsMax. 


Edited by 3rdaxis, 16 July 2018 - 07:43 PM.


#8 Wizball

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 08:00 PM

You are not being attacked for having a bad childhood. You are not being attacked for having one bug in a table. You are being attacked for making comments like:

I spent 8 months making a game, that you can play for FREE. Instead of insulting me, mocking me with pictures, you should thank me, maybe even kiss my ass.

 

After all when your mother gave me free sex, I was thankful, i didn't go on the internet to say how bad she was in bed...

If you end up smelly after you stir shit up, you are not the victim.



#9 hauntfreaks

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 08:03 PM

Sorry to hear that brother sounds rough. I suggest taking up a hobby like, making VPX tables;)

So.... has anyone here every baked/un-wrapped textures in 3dsMax before for applying to primitives? Great tutorials out there but for Blender and it doesn't translate into 3dsMax. 

 

 

LOL...LOL... no no no please see all his other posts about "making" tables.... WE all do it the wrong way!!!...LOL


Edited by hauntfreaks, 16 July 2018 - 08:11 PM.

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#10 kalavera

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 08:17 PM

Remember Alf? He's back, but in pog form.



#11 STAT

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 09:03 PM

lol that's it, for sure

Attached File  Alf.PNG   543.34KB   8 downloads

#12 Noah Fentz

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 10:31 PM

I'm kinda speechless here. On one hand I feel awful the OP went through all that, but on the other hand, why here, dude?

I'm just going to stay out of this one. If you continue posting, I can only assume you're enjoying the attention. If you'd like your posts removed when hindsight hits you, hit me up.

Carry on.

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#13 Ben Logan

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 10:48 PM

Without going into details, my childhood was pretty “interesting” too! I’ve found the pinball and VP community to be the most accepting around. Hope your experience with pinball changes for the positive, malform.

#14 humanoide

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Posted 17 July 2018 - 12:28 AM

... in any case, if you have a bad childhood, (I did not have a very good childhood) during the passage of time and when people are adults, thanks to the experience of life and living day to day, we have the opportunity to overcome and have a certain order in life, not in vain, the human being has the ability to learn from their mistakes,
We are like machines that evolve and update us,
please, do not be so dramatic, it is better to forget what you have experienced and focus on the time we have left to live,  :)


#15 dstott

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Posted 17 July 2018 - 06:38 PM

So this is the third wave...  First, you were the Genius who had perfected VPX and were generously showing everyone how it's done.  Clearly, no man was your equal. Second,  you were the Angry Guy who called out all the "nasty element" on here for now welcoming you with the gratitude you deserved and celebrating your superiority.  Third, you are the Sad Guy who gets unjustly abused everywhere he goes and the crew here just picked right up on it and instantly joined in.  It certainly doesn't have anything to do with your personality or attitude, does it?

 

I will comment no further, other than to state that I will patiently await the Fourth incarnation of Mallform11.


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#16 robwaade

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Posted 17 July 2018 - 09:39 PM

maybe hes just reaching out needs some support everybody handles stuff in their own way maybe not realizing faults that others can see maybe just needs some friends online 



#17 STAT

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Posted 18 July 2018 - 06:38 AM

Reminds me on a Pinball Table: Lost in Space ...

 

Yeah, as dstott said, the "first" and "2nd" wasn't the Best -_-


Edited by STAT, 18 July 2018 - 06:43 AM.


#18 wrd1972

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Posted 18 July 2018 - 02:04 PM

Well I wish I had not wasted my time looking up the back-story to this hot mess. But since I did, only advice I can give is...please get some help NOW!  Your lack of respect and tact, is the reason you are being put in your place. And this is NOT the community to be going on about ones troubled...life's story. Please take this drama to Dr. Phil's message board, try a bit harder to respect the community and play more pinball!


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#19 Drybonz

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Posted 18 July 2018 - 03:26 PM

I guess not every childhood can be bug-free.



#20 hauntfreaks

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Posted 21 July 2018 - 07:10 PM

So this is the third wave...  First, you were the Genius who had perfected VPX and were generously showing everyone how it's done.  Clearly, no man was your equal. Second,  you were the Angry Guy who called out all the "nasty element" on here for now welcoming you with the gratitude you deserved and celebrating your superiority.  Third, you are the Sad Guy who gets unjustly abused everywhere he goes and the crew here just picked right up on it and instantly joined in.  It certainly doesn't have anything to do with your personality or attitude, does it?

 

I will comment no further, other than to state that I will patiently await the Fourth incarnation of Mallform11.

 

 

you know what happens when the 4th horseman comes.... 

 


Edited by hauntfreaks, 21 July 2018 - 07:12 PM.

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